AMONG THE TWINKLING STARS

Inuyasha’s episode last weekend was excruciatingly heartbreaking. It totally wrecked my heart. I already knew that Kikyo was gonna die, I read the manga for crying out loud! And yet, there I was, my sobs escaped my throat and tears were literally pouring down my cheeks. I never cried as hard as that since I got broken-hearted in the real world!

I think though that it wasn’t Kikyo or Inuyasha’s pain that I cried for - the one who is leaving her love behind and the one who will be left behind, never to see the girl he loves most ever again. No, my tears weren’t for them.

I think I cried for Kagome. It was her pain that I felt the most. She was standing there blaming herself for not being able to save Kikyo, while watching Inuyasha all broken for not being able to protect Kikyo.

I felt Kagome’s pain when Inuyasha asked everyone to leave him and Kikyo alone for the moment. Inuyasha held the dying priestess in his arms. Their last conversation was about the days they were together – when Inuyasha was willing to become a human to be with Kikyo, and Kikyo was willing to give up the shikon jewel to become an ordinary woman and be with Inuyasha. Kikyo said, “I’ve finally become an ordinary woman”.

I felt Kagome’s pain when Inuyasha cried, confessing that she was the first woman he ever cared for, yet he couldn’t save her. But Kikyo smiled at him said it was enough that he was there for her.

I felt Kagome’s pain when Inuyasha, with tears running down his cheeks, kissed Kikyo’s lips sweetly and lovingly. But there, Kikyo breathed her last, warm on Inuyasha’s lips. Then her soul, bright and warm, was taken to the skies by her soul collectors.

The episode ended with Inuyasha’s words, “I never wanted to see Kikyo sad again, I wanted to protect her forever.”

He loved her so. The bond between them was never broken – the bond that Kagome cannot infringe upon. He never stopped loving her nor did Kikyo stop loving him. Perfect pair huh. Kagome knew that but still loved Inuyasha anyway. That’s why I feel her pain so much – I used to know how it is to be a second choice.

I won’t take away that moment from Kikyo though. She went through a lot. She lived a really sad life. And she deserves, at the very least, to die in the arms of the man she loved most.